"Why Can’t I Just Stop Binge Eating?": Understanding the Hidden Drivers and How to Heal Without Restriction
Binge eating can resurface in midlife when body changes leave us feeling out of control and compelled to restrict intake. Find out the most important thing you need to understand about binge eating if you want to be able to stop it below.
If you’ve found yourself binge eating in midlife, you aren’t alone.
If you've ever found yourself standing at the kitchen counter, halfway through a packet of biscuits or chocolate, wondering "Why did I do that again?" — you're not alone. For many women in midlife, binge eating becomes a frustrating and deeply emotional pattern, often rooted in years of dieting, body image struggles, and silenced emotional needs.
As a women's health dietitian who works from a non-diet, intuitive eating perspective, I want to reassure you: binge eating is not a failure of willpower. It's a signal. Your body and mind are trying to get your attention. And when you begin to explore what your binge eating is really about, healing becomes possible.
Let’s unpack the research behind binge eating, explore the most common drivers, and gently consider what you can do instead.
What is Binge Eating?
Binge eating involves eating a large amount of food in a short period of time, often accompanied by feelings of being out of control, shame, or distress. It can feel like your body is betraying you — but in reality, it's often responding to restriction, unmet emotional needs, or hormonal shifts.
4 Key Drivers of Binge Eating
1. Physical Restriction
This is one of the most overlooked causes. When you're not eating enough during the day, your body compensates by ramping up hunger signals, especially for high-calorie foods like sugar and carbs.
The research:
Chronic caloric restriction increases the risk of binge eating. The classic Minnesota Starvation Study showed that when healthy men were underfed, they became obsessed with food, experienced intense cravings, and binge ate once food was reintroduced.
Skipping meals or reducing intake often leads to rebound overeating later in the day.
What to do instead:
Eat regular meals and snacks every 3–4 hours.
Ensure meals include carbohydrates, protein, and fat to feel satisfied.
Regular nourishment through the day can help prevent bingeing later at night.
2. Emotional Restriction and Suppression
Many women have been taught to push emotions down or distract from them. But when emotions don’t have an outlet, our relationship with food often becomes an expression of these suppressed emotions. Binge eating can offer a momentary escape from stress, loneliness, anger, or sadness.
The research:
Emotional suppression is strongly linked to emotional eating and binge episodes.
People with higher emotional dysregulation are more likely to use food to cope.
How emotions might show up in the body:
Anxiety: fluttering chest, tight belly
Sadness: heaviness, lump in throat
Anger: tension in shoulders, clenched jaw
Loneliness: hollowness in the gut
How our cravings help give us clues to the emotions that driving our binge eating:
Chocolate: seeking comfort or love
Crunchy foods: needing to release anger or tension
Warm, soft carbs: craving safety or calm
What to do instead:
Pause before eating and ask, *"What am I feeling right now?"
Name the emotion: sad, angry, overwhelmed.
Try a gentle response: journaling, breathwork, stretching, texting a friend.
Emotions don’t need to be "fixed" — just acknowledged. Making space for feelings reduces the need to numb them with food.
3. Food Rules and Diet Mentality
Even if you're not dieting, internalised food rules can still create a binge-restrict cycle. The moment a food is labeled "bad," it gains power. When we inevitably "break" that rule, guilt fuels the urge to eat more.
The research:
Rigid dietary restraint is strongly linked to binge eating.
Flexible eating patterns and intuitive eating are associated with lower binge frequency and improved body image.
Common food rules to notice:
"I shouldn’t eat after 8pm"
"Sugar is is bad for me"
"I was 'good' today, so I can have a treat"
What to do instead:
Neutralise food language: food isn't good or bad.
Give yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods.
Practice eating previously forbidden foods in normal, relaxed settings.
When food loses its "off-limits" status, the intensity and urgency to binge often fade.
4. Hormonal and Biological Factors (Especially in Midlife)
Perimenopause and menopause bring hormonal changes that affect appetite, stress response, and emotional regulation. Fluctuating estrogen and progesterone can increase cravings and emotional sensitivity.
The research:
Hormonal changes during perimenopause influence appetite and food cravings, particularly for carbohydrates.
Sleep disturbances common in midlife affect hunger and fullness hormones (ghrelin and leptin), increasing appetite and decreasing satiety.
What to do instead:
Support your hormones with regular meals, adequate sleep, and stress reduction.
Address cravings with compassion, not control.
Understand that this phase is not your fault — and you’re not alone.
Final Thoughts: Stopping binge eating isn’t about control - it’s about connection
Binge eating doesn’t mean you're broken. It means your body and emotions are trying to be heard. Healing comes not through more discipline or better food tracking, but through nourishing consistently, releasing shame, and meeting your needs without punishment.
If you’re ready to stop the binge-restrict cycle and rediscover a trusting, peaceful relationship with food, support is available.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Want to stop binge eating once and for all?
If you're looking for personalised and compassionate support to health your relationship with food and learn what sits at the core of your binge eating, I’d love to help. Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call with me today to start to learn how to reconnect with your body, engage in regular nourishment and ultimately live a life uncontrolled by food.
References:
Keys, A. et al. (1950). The Biology of Human Starvation.
Herman, C. P., & Polivy, J. (1980). Restrained eating. Appetite, 7(1), 15–32.
Macht, M. (2008). How emotions affect eating: A five-way model. Appetite, 50(1), 1–11.
Lavender, J. M. et al. (2015). Emotion regulation difficulties and disordered eating. Psychology and Psychotherapy, 88(2), 390–401.
Westenhoefer, J. (1991). Dietary restraint and disinhibition: Is restraint a homogeneous construct? Appetite, 16(1), 45–55.
Tylka, T. L., & Kroon Van Diest, A. M. (2013). The Intuitive Eating Scale–2. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 60(1), 137–153.
Klump, K. L. et al. (2013). Hormonal influences on appetite and eating. Psychological Medicine, 43(3), 535–545.
Spiegel, K. et al. (2004). Impact of sleep debt on metabolic and endocrine function. The Lancet, 354(9188), 1435–1439.
Please note: This blog is intended for educational purposes and should not replace personalised medical advice. Consult a qualified healthcare provider for individual concerns.
